Rinne Baker (cheercorinne) wrote,
Rinne Baker
cheercorinne

Letter to SHS 11th Graders

Dear Juniors,

So Prom Court is announced tomorrow. It's not even a question of who is on it, it's who isn't. The nice thing about Prom voting is that it's the biggest popularity contest on the planet. Homecoming King and Queen are all about the nice kids. Whatevs, nice is for retards, this is the rodeo. People vote for the people they wish they could be or the people they wish they could fuck, it's sooo predictable. But you have to make sure that the court is made of the right people.

Thankfully, some people take themselves out of the running by being so damn toxic that enough of the right people would never vote for them. Fuck them, sure. Vote for them, no. See: Wallingford, Dorianne.

Some are so dramallama General Hospital that while we'll watch their pathetic train wreck selves, we wouldn't want to put a crown on it. See: Gentile, Andi. Sorry, Princess.

But some need a little help seeing the light. Too many people still think of Sheila as "popular": so what if Susan and I had to remind everyone that Sheila fucked a Badd Boy in a hallway, hello, someone took a picture of it on their camera, it was easy to show that off during C Lunch. I mean, are people brain dead? How could you vote for such a walking hepatitis! I was warning them before they got infected, that's all.

And when I told everybody that, obvs, after her Student Council clusterfuck of a speech, would Mary Angel Anne want to stand in front of whole junior and senior classes of two schools if she was nominated for Prom Court? Of course she wouldn't, so why would you vote for her...that was just me, performing a community service!

And when her boyfriend and I dance our first dance as King and Queen? Well. That's a community service, too. Serving the Community of Me. So sorry, Mary Anne, but it's for the best.

The best for the Group. The best for the class.

The best for me. And isn't that the same thing, when you're Queen like me?

Love,
Rinna
Tags: andi, dorianne, logan, mary anne, prom, queen, sheila
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